We've all been there - standing at a party, clutching a drink, when someone approaches with the inevitable question: "So, what do you do?" It's a staple of small talk, a socially accepted icebreaker meant to kickstart conversation and reveal a bit about each other. But buried within this innocuous inquiry lies a deeper assumption: that one's job defines who they are as a person. In essence, "What do you do?" serves as a proxy for the more probing, albeit less socially acceptable, question: "Who are you?"

 

Hierarchy in Small Talk

Unbeknownst to many, there's a subtle hierarchy embedded in the responses to this question. When we ask about someone's occupation, we're not just making conversation; we're attempting to gauge their place in our perceived social ladder. Success and wealth become intertwined, and our judgments of others are often based on the perceived prestige or importance of their job title. In a society where success equates to financial prosperity, we cling to the notion of meritocracy - the belief that everyone has equal opportunities for success, and that success itself denotes superiority.

 

Reevaluating Success

Yet, this narrow view of success is limiting and, frankly, unhelpful. While financial security certainly plays a role, true success encompasses much more. Our relationships, our sense of fulfillment, our contributions to our communities - these are all vital aspects of a fulfilling life that extend far beyond the confines of a job title. Success is a multifaceted concept, one that is deeply personal and ever-evolving. Work may provide us with meaning and purpose, but it should not define our entire identity. It's crucial to recognize that one's job title is just that - a title - and to conflate it with personhood is reductionist at best.

So, the next time you find yourself engaging in small talk, consider the implications of that seemingly innocuous question. While "What do you do?" may serve as a convenient conversation starter, it's essential to move beyond superficial judgments and recognize the complexity of individual identity and success. Let's challenge the notion that success is synonymous with wealth and prestige, and instead embrace a more holistic understanding of fulfillment. After all, true success is not measured by the size of our paycheck, but by the richness of our lives and the depth of our connections. Ask yourself: How important is your job title to your sense of identity? What does success mean for you?